This has been such an exciting week for me; I am genuinely surprised that I haven’t peed my pants. First I eat the best meal of my life at Babbo and get a grand tour of the restaurant, then I eat at A Salt and Battery (of “Throwdown with Bobby Flay” fame), then I see Michael Symon the newest Iron Chef, then I talk to Duff Goldman the Ace of Cakes.
I will tell you about all the grub I’ve been shoving down my throat in a moment, but first let me address how awesome it is that I met, (ok I only saw Michael but whatever), both Chef Symon and Duffypoo. Slowly but surely the list of Food Network stars that I have “met” is getting longer than the list of stars I haven’t.
Let’s see… I ran into Ellie Krieger on the street once and chased her down the crosswalk to introduce myself and (unintentionally) really freak her out. Then I saw – and took a picture with – Colombe, the l-o-s-e-r from “The Next Food Network Star,” at Le Pain Quotidien. I accidentally burst into tears at the Fancy Food Show last year during a Dave Lieberman demonstration… sorry but I get emotional with my FN stars. I saw Marc Summers and Robert Irvine together and I directed them to a conference room – I had heart palpitations for weeks! I once saw the “Thirsty Traveler” Kevin Brauch, (aka that weird Canadian guy Alton makes fun of on “Iron Chef”), on my way to get the mail. I met Cat Cora’s sous chef – whatever still counts – at a bar in East Hampton. I saw Ina Garten, (in a luscious brown full-length fur coat) and that handsome devil Jeffery walking down Madison Ave when I was in tenth grade. And last but not least, my darling Alton Brown, who I see every night in my dreams but have seen in reality three times.
Now I can add Iron Chef Symon and my little Sugar Dumplin’ Duffy to the list! I heard Symon laughing – his awesome little cackle – and peeked into the office next door to confirm my suspicions… there was, indeed, an iron chef in the building! He was wearing jeans and a sassy little hoody with a dragon print on the back – and, FYI ladies, he is very handsome! (But married, sorry).
Less than an hour later I was in the kitchen getting a cup o’ joe when I saw Duffy “Shnoockums” Goldman. For once in my star-spotting career I played it cool and introduced myself without making that weird gasping-for-air-grunting sound. I told him that I’m getting one of his awesome cake creations and he got SO excited. Aww he is so cute I just wanted to pinch his little cheeks! He was really cool and asked me if the miraculous creation was for a groom’s cake (which now looking back I have decided to interpret as him trying to find out if I’m married, which I’m NOT, because he is in love with me). He then told me he had two daschunds! And he said it would be funny if he put the Brutus cake in a bun! And I said it would be funny! And then we laughed together and held hands and frolicked through a meadow. (Everything was true except that last part).
Anyway, we’re madly in love. But I simply don’t know how I’m going to tell my husband Alton, my boyfriend Jamie Deen, my lover Dave Liberman, and my soul mate John Besh that I now have a new suitor!
I will tell you about all the grub I’ve been shoving down my throat in a moment, but first let me address how awesome it is that I met, (ok I only saw Michael but whatever), both Chef Symon and Duffypoo. Slowly but surely the list of Food Network stars that I have “met” is getting longer than the list of stars I haven’t.
Let’s see… I ran into Ellie Krieger on the street once and chased her down the crosswalk to introduce myself and (unintentionally) really freak her out. Then I saw – and took a picture with – Colombe, the l-o-s-e-r from “The Next Food Network Star,” at Le Pain Quotidien. I accidentally burst into tears at the Fancy Food Show last year during a Dave Lieberman demonstration… sorry but I get emotional with my FN stars. I saw Marc Summers and Robert Irvine together and I directed them to a conference room – I had heart palpitations for weeks! I once saw the “Thirsty Traveler” Kevin Brauch, (aka that weird Canadian guy Alton makes fun of on “Iron Chef”), on my way to get the mail. I met Cat Cora’s sous chef – whatever still counts – at a bar in East Hampton. I saw Ina Garten, (in a luscious brown full-length fur coat) and that handsome devil Jeffery walking down Madison Ave when I was in tenth grade. And last but not least, my darling Alton Brown, who I see every night in my dreams but have seen in reality three times.
Now I can add Iron Chef Symon and my little Sugar Dumplin’ Duffy to the list! I heard Symon laughing – his awesome little cackle – and peeked into the office next door to confirm my suspicions… there was, indeed, an iron chef in the building! He was wearing jeans and a sassy little hoody with a dragon print on the back – and, FYI ladies, he is very handsome! (But married, sorry).
Less than an hour later I was in the kitchen getting a cup o’ joe when I saw Duffy “Shnoockums” Goldman. For once in my star-spotting career I played it cool and introduced myself without making that weird gasping-for-air-grunting sound. I told him that I’m getting one of his awesome cake creations and he got SO excited. Aww he is so cute I just wanted to pinch his little cheeks! He was really cool and asked me if the miraculous creation was for a groom’s cake (which now looking back I have decided to interpret as him trying to find out if I’m married, which I’m NOT, because he is in love with me). He then told me he had two daschunds! And he said it would be funny if he put the Brutus cake in a bun! And I said it would be funny! And then we laughed together and held hands and frolicked through a meadow. (Everything was true except that last part).
Anyway, we’re madly in love. But I simply don’t know how I’m going to tell my husband Alton, my boyfriend Jamie Deen, my lover Dave Liberman, and my soul mate John Besh that I now have a new suitor!
2 comments:
Just think- you're breathing the same rarified air as all those FN people. Good for you.
Here's an anagram for your column
Finger portion wurst
Hi LT. Can't believe you are now old enough to drink Corona Lights (which means I am old enough to forget how old I am!) Great read! I'll visit again soon.
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