"TOOT TOOT!" -My Horn

Sure, I like my little baby blog, my mom likes it (but I think she's legally required to say she likes everything I do), and my friend Mary from Maryland seems to like it (thanks for the comments Mary!). But apparently, actual real blogging celebs like it too... swoon.

My new BFF the Food Network Addict said :
"Your blog looks fun. I checked out the chipotle fan link, and I'm not convinced. It just makes me want a burrito bol even more! ;-) "

Then, about two seconds later my new buddy the Amateur Gourmet said:
"Your site looks great--I love the design."

It's only a matter of time before we're sharing one Frozen Hot Chocolate with three straws gabbing about how awesome the food bloggespher is...

Thanks guys!

Check Out This Little Diddy

My awesome cousin Evan wrote this song for me as my early Christmas gift, isn't it incredible?! I love the Rach Ray shout out...

Look at Me, I’m Sandra Lee…

I know in the song from “Grease” it’s “Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee” but I don’t care – it should have been Sandra Lee because she’s flippin’ awesome. Oh Sandy… I just finished her memoir, Made From Scratch and take my word for it, it is a MUST READ!!!

I laughed, I cried, I felt very confused and uncomfortable; all of my favorite emotions tied up in just 269 pages. Poor Sandy really has been through a lot – her pill-popping mom abandoned her then when she finally came back she beat her, she raised her siblings single-handedly, she lost all her money, her grammy died, she had to make that Kurtain Kraft Krap… then she had to travel the globe, become a “lifestyle expert,” star on a Food Network show, and become a New York Times bestselling author. Let me tell you pal, it was a real rollercoaster.

A few passages in particular I will always hold near and dear to my heart; I particularly loved when Sandypoo tried to offer an explanation for the booze-cruise that is Semi-Homemade; "The cocktail segment was never intended to become a regular part of the show. During my first week of filming, I decided to demonstrate one of my favorite cocktails, Jamaican Rum Punch. I made the drink many times before so I felt comfortable with free-pouring the liquor without measuring the amount I was using… I got caught up in keeping eye contact with the camera and forgot to monitor the amount of run I poured into the pitcher (page 215)."

Sure you did Sandy…

I also felt all toasty inside when Sandy would cite her most beloved passages at the beginning of each chapter. Best of which was her Survivor quotation; “I’m back on my feet, just a man and his will to survive... I’ve got the eye of the tiger (page 217).” If you don’t think that’s funny, check your pulse.

Seriously though, it is a wonderful book and it made me like Sandra even more than before. It made me sympathize with her rough childhood enough that I didn’t feel resentful when she finally found success completely by her own merit and determination, (which I think is the response she was going for).

Sadly, there is neither an explanation as to how the two soufflés on her chest miraculously rose, nor does she offer a reason for why her “parties” are never attended by anyone except maybe her niece and nephew – maybe I’m alone on this, but I find pre-teens and pitchers of booze to be a very maladroit situation. Can’t she at least hire fake friends to come over and see her elaborate tablescapes? I’m sure Michael Chiarello knows where to rent some…

Shut Yo Pi (Phi) Hole!

I love my new fabulous post-college life here in the Big Apple, (even though I have to now wake up early, actually work, not blow through money on drive-through daiquiris, etc), but there is one thing that I really, really miss about Tulane that I never saw coming…

Every Wednesday my sorority, Pi Phi, would order lunch for the entire chapter, and every Sunday we would all have dinner together after our meetings. I got very good at running to the house in between “classes,” (in between waking up at noon and going to the levee for some fun in the sun), for a quick lunch. I became an expert on sneaking in through the back door after the meeting, shoving some grub into Tupperware and surviving off of it for the next week. I never thought that I could pine for anything as much as a bear hug from John Besh or a Chipotle burrito, but those meals at Pi Phizzle come pretty close.

Queue the “food is about connecting with people, not just nourishment” speech now. I’ll spare you all that blah blah blah and just say that the mere anticipation of what would be served at these meals added some category 5 excitment to my day. Luckily for me, my roommate and best friend Ali was the House Manager, (also known as the "House-Wife Executive" who was in charge of getting the food on our plates), and luckily I was able to influence what restaurants she would order from.

Wraps from Roly Poly, ribs from Voo Doo BBQ, pizza from Reginelli's, Sushi from Mikimoto, pasta from Semolina... I miss you all, my darlings...

Long story short, this lame entry is dedicated to all the Pi Phi Angels of the world who paid their dues so that I could gorge bi-weekly and encourage the growth of my freshman/sophomore/junior/senior-15 pounds.

This one’s for you!

*Wanna read a neat blog about life post-college? Check out the Real World Freshman.

A Moment of Silence Please…

My cubicle neighbor Amanda just alerted me to a new website: Chipotle Fan. But do NOT let the name fool you my friend; no fan of Chipotle should ever visit this site!

There is a “Nutrition Info” section in which you can enter what kind of accoutrements you like in your Blessed Burrito and then it calculates how many calories are in it.

This is a sad, sad day my dear readers, a sad, sad day. This Shit-potle site has ruined my afternoon and quite possibly my life. Luckily, after a few tequila shots and Coronas (Corona Light of course) I will forget all about this dang site and can go back to living my sour-cream-covered life.

A Day Like This is RARE (get it?)

This has been such an exciting week for me; I am genuinely surprised that I haven’t peed my pants. First I eat the best meal of my life at Babbo and get a grand tour of the restaurant, then I eat at A Salt and Battery (of “Throwdown with Bobby Flay” fame), then I see Michael Symon the newest Iron Chef, then I talk to Duff Goldman the Ace of Cakes.

I will tell you about all the grub I’ve been shoving down my throat in a moment, but first let me address how awesome it is that I met, (ok I only saw Michael but whatever), both Chef Symon and Duffypoo. Slowly but surely the list of Food Network stars that I have “met” is getting longer than the list of stars I haven’t.

Let’s see… I ran into Ellie Krieger on the street once and chased her down the crosswalk to introduce myself and (unintentionally) really freak her out. Then I saw – and took a picture with – Colombe, the l-o-s-e-r from “The Next Food Network Star,” at Le Pain Quotidien. I accidentally burst into tears at the Fancy Food Show last year during a Dave Lieberman demonstration… sorry but I get emotional with my FN stars. I saw Marc Summers and Robert Irvine together and I directed them to a conference room – I had heart palpitations for weeks! I once saw the “Thirsty Traveler” Kevin Brauch, (aka that weird Canadian guy Alton makes fun of on “Iron Chef”), on my way to get the mail. I met Cat Cora’s sous chef – whatever still counts – at a bar in East Hampton. I saw Ina Garten, (in a luscious brown full-length fur coat) and that handsome devil Jeffery walking down Madison Ave when I was in tenth grade. And last but not least, my darling Alton Brown, who I see every night in my dreams but have seen in reality three times.

Now I can add Iron Chef Symon and my little Sugar Dumplin’ Duffy to the list! I heard Symon laughing – his awesome little cackle – and peeked into the office next door to confirm my suspicions… there was, indeed, an iron chef in the building! He was wearing jeans and a sassy little hoody with a dragon print on the back – and, FYI ladies, he is very handsome! (But married, sorry).

Less than an hour later I was in the kitchen getting a cup o’ joe when I saw Duffy “Shnoockums” Goldman. For once in my star-spotting career I played it cool and introduced myself without making that weird gasping-for-air-grunting sound. I told him that I’m getting one of his awesome cake creations and he got SO excited. Aww he is so cute I just wanted to pinch his little cheeks! He was really cool and asked me if the miraculous creation was for a groom’s cake (which now looking back I have decided to interpret as him trying to find out if I’m married, which I’m NOT, because he is in love with me). He then told me he had two daschunds! And he said it would be funny if he put the Brutus cake in a bun! And I said it would be funny! And then we laughed together and held hands and frolicked through a meadow. (Everything was true except that last part).

Anyway, we’re madly in love. But I simply don’t know how I’m going to tell my husband Alton, my boyfriend Jamie Deen, my lover Dave Liberman, and my soul mate John Besh that I now have a new suitor!

When a Contessa and a Dartmouth Boy Unite; an Ode to Ina and Jeffrey

Oh Ina, you’ve loved Jeffery since you were fifteen,
He is so much more handsome than James, (and Paula), Deen.

You like to make him fresh ice cream with vanilla bean,
You roast him chickens and cook other French cuisine.

Sometimes you two act a little obscene,
I don’t need to know that he is a love machine!

I wish he would dress in Alexander McQueen,
For my entertainment and to change the routine,
But alas, Jeffrey will only wear his blue jean.

Ina you must spend a fortune on dry clean,
Because you only wear that shirt of color marine.

Remember your trip to Paris, it was so serene,
You and Jeffery slept in a tent with a canteen.
Eating hericot verts, also known as green bean,
‘Cause in France you could not find any chow mein.

You love him enough to give him your spleen,
The love bug musta bit you, you need a vaccine!

When out in the Hamptons always wear sunscreen,
And be sure to dress up as a French maid for Halloween.

Once at the White House, Food Network was unforeseen,
But thank goodness you did it, my cooking queen!

I’ll watch you forever, don’t fret, your show will be seen,
Just please don’t ever jump on a trampoline.

Gobble Gobble

Alton, Giada, Ina, and MEEEEEEEE!!!

My name is now mingling with the stars in cyber world! My writing can be found on FoodNetwork.com - check it out!

Bird is the Word.