I am alive... barely.

Last night in class the single most terrifying moment in my life occurred… A sauté pan tried to kill me. I was cooking bacon (not for myself, we all know I would never eat a little innocent Wilbur… not), and I took the bacon out of the pan, and was pouring the excess fat (gross I know) into our "fat bucket" (even grosser).

Then, out of nowhere, there was this pop that sounded like a gun shot. It was so loud everyone screamed and my ears were ringing. What was it, you ask? A bullet would have been nothing compared to what it actually was... one of the rivets that was holding my busted, old pan handle to the base SHOT out of the pan from the heat.

Basically what I am trying to say is that a deep-fried-covered-in-hot-and-spitting-oil,-shaped-like-a-bullet-with-a-spike-attached-to-the-back-rivet, SHOT out at me. It hit the tile on the wall and CHIPPED the tiles. I could have DIEDDDDDDDD.

The best part was the chef's reaction. He sighs and says calmly, “Oh happens all the time."

Did I mention this was right after oil spit out of another pan and hit me right about my eye? My EYE.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I’m really in the trenches out there and that if anything happens to me it has been nice knowing you and I’ve had an awesome life. Eat some Chipotle for me.